Research into Marriage Read online

  Jessica felt trapped, but it was pointless to lie. 'Yes, I did,' she confirmed.

  'Mmm, and now that you know he doesn't...'

  She knew what Justine was getting at, but she shook her head decisively. 'It makes no difference, Justine,' she told her firmly. 'Lyle may not still love Heather, but believe me, he feels nothing for me.'

  'If you say so.' Justine grinned at her, and somehow Jessica did not think her sister-in-law was convinced.

  After Justine and Peter had gone their conversation lingered in Jessica's thoughts. Justine had soon guessed at her own feelings, but then Justine liked playing deus ex machina, as she had proved by the way she had forced Lyle into marrying her in the first place. Couldn't it be that, guessing how she felt about him, Justine was now trying to encourage her to believe her feelings might be returned so that she would perhaps approach Lyle?

  Justine liked and approved of her, she had said as much, and practical woman that she was, no doubt she felt that the future of their marriage would be much more secure if it changed from a business arrangement to one with a more normal basis. Of course Justine was not to know that they had already been lovers, and that far from improving their marriage, it had only widened the gap between them.

  No, she would not fall into the trap of believing that Justine might be right and that Lyle might actually care for her as a person. It would be the height of self-delusion to do so, especially when she knew the truth!

  Two days after Justine's visit, Jessica received a frightened phone call from her sister.

  'Jess, can you come over straight away?' Andrea begged. 'I went for my check-up this morning and Dr Ford wasn't too happy with my blood pressure. He wants to get me into hospital for a couple of days until it comes down, but there's no one to look after William. I can't reach David. He's in a meeting and it's likely to go on for some hours yet. If you could just come over and take William home with you ...'

  Quickly reassuring her sister that she would be there as quickly as possible, Jessica then rang Justine and asked her if she could drop James and Stuart off on her way to her sister's.

  'I'm not sure what state Andrea will be in. I might have to run her to hospital and stay there for a while, I don't know. If you could just keep an eye on them for me until I get back with William?'

  'Of course I will,' Justine confirmed immediately. 'Bring them over when you're ready.'

  It didn't take long for Jessica to explain to the boys what had happened. Neither of them showed the slightest resentment at having to spend the day with Justine, both of them secure enough in her love now to know that they were not being passed over in favour of William. Scribbling a note for Lyle, whom she was expecting back for lunch, Jessica bundled the boys into the car and set off for Justine's.

  Knowing the urgency involved, Justine did not press her to stop for coffee, running out to the car to help the boys out and telling Jessica not to worry about them. Jessica hugged them both before backing out of the drive and continuing on her journey to her sister's.

  As she had half expected she found Andrea in a semi-hysterical state, a fact which could hardly do her high blood pressure any good, Jessica thought worriedly, as she coaxed her into sitting down and putting her feet up, while she assured Andrea that William was more than welcome to stay with her just as long as was needed.

  'I don't think it will come to that,' Andrea told her fretfully. 'David will be home later, and he has some holidays owing to him that he could take. If only I knew how long they'll keep me in!'

  'Well, the more you worry about that, the longer it will be,' Jessica warned her firmly. 'Are they sending an ambulance for you or shall I take you in?'

  'Dr Ford's going to ring me just as soon as he's made all the arrangements.'

  As though on cue the phone rang, and Jessica went to answer it. Andrea's doctor sounded relieved that there was someone with her, and gratefully accepted Jessica's suggestion that she drive her sister to hospital.

  'If you could that would be marvellous,' he confirmed. 'I don't really care for the idea of her driving herself. I'll be there to meet her. I've got some other patients to visit there.'

  It was Jessica who packed Andrea's small case and checked that her sister had everything she might need for her stay. They were half way to the hospital when Andrea suddenly gripped Jessica's wrist, her eyes dilating with anguish as she cried, 'Jess, I don't want to lose my baby. I'm so frightened.'

  'I don't think there's the slightest question of that,' Jessica told her firmly, hoping that she was right. 'The best thing you can do, Andrea, is to try and relax a little, give your blood pressure a chance to come down.' As she spoke she glanced warningly towards the back of the car to remind Andrea that William was there, and could well be frightened by what his mother was saying.

  Fortunately by the time they reached the hospital Andrea seemed to have calmed down a little.

  Her doctor, Dr Ford, was a pleasant, authoritative man with a tired smile and a shock of iron- grey hair, his manner both soothing and firm.

  Jessica waited with William while they got Andrea settled, and then approached Dr Ford when he came to find them, asking how Andrea was.

  'Comfortable. I think we've got her in time No, there's no question of her losing the baby,' he confirmed in answer to Jessica's question. 'At least not if she does as. she's told.'

  'I'm going to stay with William until his father comes home,' Jessica told the doctor. 'Do you know how long she'll be in here?'

  'That depends very much on how sensibly she behaves,' she was told, confirming her own views on Andrea's condition.

  As might have been expected William was very subdued on the drive back to Andrea's house, blurting out worriedly as Jessica stopped the car in the drive,

  'Is Mummy going to die, Aunt Jess?'

  Jessica hugged him reassuringly. 'Of course not,' she told him stoutly, 'she just needs to rest. It's hard work looking after Daddy and you. Come on, let's go inside and have some lunch, shall we?'

  She suspected that William felt as little like eating as she did herself, but to give way to her own fears in front of her small nephew would not do either of them any good. She longed for Lyle's calming presence at her side, and not just because he was a doctor.

  David arrived just as they were finishing lunch, and watching him frown and push William away as he ran to him Jessica could not help contrasting her brother-in-law's attitude to Lyle's.

  'What's going on?' he demanded angrily of Jessica. 'I've had to come out of a meeting and come home. Where's Andrea?'

  'In hospital,' Jessica told him, not even trying to hide her dislike of him. Andrea, his wife, was lying in hospital quite dangerously ill, and all David seemed concerned about was the fact that he had been called out of his meeting.

  She heard him swear and said icily, 'No matter how important your meeting was, David, I'm quite sure it can't be more important than Andrea's life.'

  He looked more angry than shocked and Jessica heard him mutter bitterly, 'She's the one who wanted this damned baby, not me.'

  Jessica was only thankful that she had had the wit to send William upstairs to clean his teeth, and now she rounded on her brother-in-law, telling him exactly what she thought about him.

  'You're a fine one to talk,' he sneered at her. 'The cold-hearted bitch, who married purely to check on her research. Does he know about that yet?'

  'No, he doesn't.' She was too angry to pretend any longer and added curtly, 'And besides, you're wrong. I love him.'

  She had the satisfaction of seeing David's eyes widen and then narrow. 'Damn you, Jess,' he swore bitterly, 'damn you for telling me that.' He broke off as they heard a car outside. Jessica recognised the engine note of Lyle's estate car, immediately rushing to the door. Before she got there David stopped her, grabbing hold of her and pulling her into his arms, kissing her brutally before she could push him away.

  The front door was open and Lyle walked in just in time to see David releasing her. r />
  Jessica knew quite well how damning the circumstances looked, but she was far too wrought up and angry for excuses and explanations, instead rushing upstairs on the pretext of wanting to check on William.

  Instead she went into the spare bedroom, and sat down on the bed taking deep breaths until she was sure she was in control of herself. How could David have kissed her like that when his wife, her sister...? But then she had always suspected that at heart David resented and disliked her, and he had kissed her because he knew how Lyle would interpret their embrace and for no other reason.

  More drained than she could ever remember being in her life, Jessica went and found William, taking him downstairs with her.

  Lyle was standing in the hall and there was no sign of David. 'We're leaving,' he told Jessica curtly.

  She glanced from his set face to William's nervous one, and correctly interpreting her thoughts, Lyle told her icily, 'Chalmers is staying here to look after his son. I've rung the hospital and checked on Andrea. She should be home in a couple of days.'

  He waited until they were outside before saying anything more to her, his face a bitter mask of disgust as he ground out, 'My God, the pair of you are despicable. You…'

  His contempt Jessica could understand, but his anger frightened her. She could not really see any reason for it, but she was glad that she would not be forced to travel back with him nonetheless.

  It was on the journey back that Jessica came to a momentous decision. It was pointless pretending any longer. She was going to have to tell Lyle how she felt and let him make what decision he wished on the continuance or otherwise of their marriage from there. It was simply too much of a strain to continue as they were, and at least he would know then that she had not been using him as a substitute for David as he had once accused her of doing; and that indeed the only feeling she had for her brother-in-law was one of dislike.

  She would much rather that Lyle despised her for being stupid enough to fall in love with him than for attempting to break up her sister's marriage, and besides she was weary of all the pretence, of the growing effort it took to force herself to appear indifferent to him.

  He reached the house before her, leaving his car parked untidily across the drive. He got out and strode into the house without waiting for her, and slowly Jessica followed him inside.

  He had gone into his office and she followed him there, willing him to look at her.

  He did so, his eyes cold with dislike, his forehead pleated in a frown.

  'Lyle, I must talk to you.'

  'Not now, Jessica,' he told her harshly. 'I've got to go out, for which you ought to be thankful. If I had to speak to you now, God knows I don't believe I would be able to control myself. To walk into that house and find you in his arms, your own sister's husband.' His mouth tightened in disgust and a dark rage that totally unnerved her.

  'When will you be back?'

  'I don't know.' His eyes grew even harder. 'Why do you want to know? Thinking of entertaining your lover here in my absence, are you?'

  Now was obviously not the time to tell him the truth. Jessica went upstairs to her own room and stayed there until she heard him drive away, and then she rang Justine to tell her that she was on her way to pick up the boys.

  Justine coaxed them into staying on and having tea with her, and it was gone seven o'clock when they eventually arrived back. There was no sign of Lyle, and the strain of waiting for him to come back so that she could talk to him stretched Jessica's already overwound nerves almost to breaking point.

  At nine o'clock she rang the hospital and was told that Andrea was improving. At ten-thirty when Lyle had still not come home she went upstairs and ran a bath hoping that it might relax her.

  At midnight she was lying in bed, still wide awake, her body waiting tensely for the first sound of his car. It seemed a lifetime before the wide arc of its headlight illuminated her bedroom. Jessica heard him come in and go into the kitchen and then only minutes later she heard him come upstairs and go into his own room.

  She had to speak to him tonight. If she didn't she would never sleep. Slipping on her robe she padded across the landing and knocked briefly on his door before going in.

  He was lying fully dressed on his bed, thoughtfully contemplating what looked like a full glass of whisky.

  'Why so shocked?' he mocked when he saw her expression. 'I'm simply taking a leaf out of your book, although I doubt that I'll be so easily able to forget the events of today.'

  'Lyle, please, it wasn't like it seemed.' Jessica knew she was making a clumsy start, but somehow the sight of Lyle drinking had shocked all her carefully prepared explanations right out of her mind.

  Without thinking she went up to him, reaching out pleadingly, but to her anguish he pushed her away, so roughly that she almost fell.

  'Don't bother lying to me, Jessica,' he told her harshly. 'I know exactly what it was like. You married me not because of your sister as you told me, but as part of some damned experiment. Your lover told me that much today.'

  His words were like a blow to the chest, making her faint with shock and fear.

  'David is not my lover,' she said huskily. 'He never has been, and he never will be.'

  'So you say, but you don't deny what he told me, do you, Jessica? Because you can't.'

  How on earth could she explain to Lyle, in his present mood, just why she had told David that? The whole issue was so complex and involved, her own nerves stretched so tensely that she could not trust herself to make him understand.

  'Lyle, please.'

  'Please what?' he demanded roughly. 'Please make love to you as a substitute for Chalmers?' He laughed harshly. 'My God, you really took me for a fool, didn't you? Well, it's over now, Jessica,' he told her bitterly. 'You can leave this house just as soon as you like.'

  Even though she had been expecting them, his words still took her by surprise, shocking her into a paralysis of despair from which she emerged only enough to murmur brokenly, 'But Stuart and James?'

  'Oh, yes, you've done your work well on those two, too well. I can't take the risk of what it might do to them if they never see you again, but neither can I endure having you in this house any longer. They're old enough to understand that marriages don't always work out, after all this isn't the first time they've experienced divorce. I won't stop them from seeing you if that's what they want, but I won't have you under my roof any longer, Jessica. By this time tomorrow I want you out, do you understand?' He looked more angry than she had ever seen him before.

  Somehow she managed to stagger back to her own room, her life in ruins. He had not even given her an opportunity to defend herself, to explain.

  She didn't sleep. How could she? Her mind went over and over that dreadful scene with Lyle, desperately wishing she had been allowed to explain things, and yet her heart knowing that Lyle had not wanted to hear any explanations. He had wanted to get rid of her.

  After breakfast he took her on one side and reiterated, 'I want you out of here just as quickly as possible, please. I'll tell the boys, and I'll be in touch with you to make arrangements for the divorce, and for you to see Stuart and James, if that's what you wish. Please don't say anything to them, I prefer to explain the situation to them myself.'

  'So that you can blame me, I suppose,' Jessica flung at him bitterly. 'If only you'd listened, I...'

  'You would what? Have told me that your brother-in-law lied when he said you were using our marriage to test out your pet theories? Well?'

  How could she explain to him in this mood why she had said that to David? And how odd that he seemed more angry about what was surely only a minor issue than others which to her were far more important.

  'Was that why you made love with me?' he demanded harshly. 'As part of an experiment? You'll have to let me know how I rated, or will I be able to read about it for myself?'

  He came towards her, so angry that for a moment Jessica thought he was going to hit her, and she fell back automatic
ally, watching the rage die from his face, and contempt take its place.

  'Oh, for God's sake, I'm not going to touch you,' he told her bitterly. 'I doubt that I could now, even if I wanted to. Why, why did you do it?' he demanded thickly. 'Was it because I told you I no longer wanted to make love? Did you find that a challenge you couldn't resist? Was ...' He broke off, his mouth snapping shut, and Jessica realised sickly that he was so angry because she had hurt his pride, because he thought she had used him callously and cold-bloodedly. But it was too late to tell him the truth now, too late and of too little importance. He didn't want her in his life any more, in any capacity—he had made that more than clear.

  Her flat was let on a monthly tenancy, and for the first week of their separation she lived in a small hotel while waiting for her tenants to quit. Divorce was out of the question in view of the short life of their marriage, but she had received a very curt letter from Lyle telling her that although he no longer wished to see her, both boys did and that with her agreement it could be arranged that they would spend their weekends with her.

  Jessica was not under any delusion that he did this for her sake—it was only for the sake of the boys themselves that he was allowing her to see them. She swallowed hard. She missed them badly already, and wondered how they had taken her absence. Did they think that she, like their mother, had rejected them?

  She longed to ring and speak to them, but pride would not let her. She would not allow Lyle to accuse her of trying to influence the boys behind his back. She had even refused to speak to Justine on the phone, not wanting to make any explanations or excuses to his sister that might conflict with anything Lyle himself might have to say.

  The only good thing that had happened was that Andrea was now out of hospital. Jessica had kept from her the news of their separation, not wanting to cause her sister further anxiety, and had given as an excuse for asking her not to ring her the fib that the phone was out of order. Fortunately Andrea was too caught up in her own affairs to query the danger of a doctor's phone being in this state.